Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
