I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
