Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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