covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
