doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
