everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
