about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize