I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize