Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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