i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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