Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
