wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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