and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
