Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
