I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.