My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
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we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.