Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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