I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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