i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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