no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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