people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
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I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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