Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
