Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
