Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
