It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Two words: blizzard sex
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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