girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
