Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize