Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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