you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
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Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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