you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
