i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
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I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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