sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets