mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?