thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?