i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
