tell your sister to shave her snatch
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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