Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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