And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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