Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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