Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish you could order shots online.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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