her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
