We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize