Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
