I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
