NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
