You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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