So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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