Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize