it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.