Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.

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(817): I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs. http://tfl.nu/mr7a

Replies (3) Good night (1201) Bad night (836)
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(415): View more from California

i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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(415): i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world. http://tfl.nu/0s72

Replies (45) Good night (5586) Bad night (1057)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete

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(919): I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete http://tfl.nu/qit9

Replies (18) Good night (4010) Bad night (629)
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(620): View more from Kansas

He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

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(620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7

Replies (16) Good night (4186) Bad night (994)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.

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(978): I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time. http://tfl.nu/xn0f

Replies (5) Good night (2274) Bad night (992)
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(+35): View more from

I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.

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(+35): I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/jeai

Replies (7) Good night (2430) Bad night (874)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?

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(732): like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers? http://tfl.nu/ohng

Replies (7) Good night (2466) Bad night (951)
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(514): View more from Quebec

the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon

(514): View more from Quebec

what does alcohol mean

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(514): the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon (514): what does alcohol mean http://tfl.nu/hh45

Replies (2) Good night (1513) Bad night (787)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess

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(908): I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess http://tfl.nu/xjsr

Replies (3) Good night (2399) Bad night (682)
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(937): View more from Ohio

No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.

(502): View more from Kentucky

And if not?

(937): View more from Ohio

...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?

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(937): No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship. (502): And if not? (937): ...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you? http://tfl.nu/fwg8

Replies (5) Good night (1941) Bad night (612)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes

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(610): I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes http://tfl.nu/kawt

Replies (4) Good night (1210) Bad night (652)
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(817): View more from Texas

Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.

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(817): Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount. http://tfl.nu/oq9w

Replies (10) Good night (2194) Bad night (529)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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(701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia

Replies (17) Good night (2704) Bad night (650)
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(585): View more from New York

He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.

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(585): He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota. http://tfl.nu/2rl1

Replies (4) Good night (961) Bad night (466)
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(325): View more from Texas

I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours

(325): View more from Texas

Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin

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(325): I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours (325): Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin http://tfl.nu/emaj

Replies (11) Good night (1229) Bad night (447)

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