OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
its like you know when i get waxed
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.