absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell