i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
