so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
