you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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