ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
