Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
