she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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