When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize