It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
