can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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