Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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