Hey man sorry I got all grabby
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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