Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Randomize
