I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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