i jhust puked up my retainher.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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