I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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